{"id":46,"date":"2021-01-25T15:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-25T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.lboro.ac.uk\/edi\/?p=46"},"modified":"2021-01-25T20:09:35","modified_gmt":"2021-01-25T20:09:35","slug":"what-are-you-having","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.lboro.ac.uk\/edi\/what-are-you-having\/","title":{"rendered":"What are you having?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It\u2019s the question we ask, almost without thinking, when someone shares the exciting news that they\u2019re expecting a baby. But why do we ask? And is it a good question?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we want to know the sex of the baby?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You could certainly argue that we ask because it\u2019s one of the few things we can know about a brand new human.  So much is yet to be discovered, and will unveil itself slowly over years to come.  But does the sex matter?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It certainly used to.  While progress has been made towards gender equality we still live in a patriarchal society where men have more status and power than women.  In this patriarchal tradition a boy was seen as a blessing to a family, someone who will continue the family line.  A girl, well, an expense, better luck next time.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\"Jen<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Comedian Jen Brister, in her 2019 TED Talk<\/a>, discusses a situation in which a woman bursts with excitement about how much better it is to have boys, in front of her own daughter<\/em>. These attitudes are deep rooted and have not yet left us.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

But what\u2019s the harm?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The latest pregnancy craze to sweep the world is the \u201cGender Reveal\u201d party.  At these parties the expectant parents reveal the sex of their baby to their family and friends often by revealing a blue or pink cake, or setting off blue or pink fireworks or glitter bombs.  Some parents find out the sex themselves this way, the information having been provided by the doctor to the baker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few of these parties have drawn media attention for extreme results such as starting huge wildfires in California<\/a>, Florida<\/a> and Arizona<\/a>, leading to deaths and vast destruction of property.  But while these examples are eye-catching they can also serve to distract from the real harm of this trend: reinforcing old fashioned ideas about sex and gender being binary (having one of two values) and, more damagingly, that our sex is our defining feature<\/strong>. An out-dated worldview where every boy is Action Man and a future CEO, and every girl a princess and future secretary. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pink and blue cakes are often the tips of very large stereotype icebergs.  Blue means sports gear or cars, and pink means dresses or ballet shoes.  Before the baby is born we\u2019re starting to limit how we perceive them, and the interests we will expect them to follow.  These stereotypes are a big part of what maintains the patriarchal structure by separating men and women and telling us they\u2019re fundamentally different.  Boys are strong and born to lead.  Girls are delicate, and born to please.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n

In the BBC Documentary \u201cNo more boys and girls<\/a>\u201d an experiment showed how easily we fall into treating babies differently based on their perceived gender.  Over time this cumulative behaviour fundamentally defines a child\u2019s sense of who they are and what we expect of them.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"Baby<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Before the baby is even born a lot of decisions will be based on their sex (i.e. their genitals).  The colour the nursery will be painted, the clothes and toys friends and family will buy.  The strict gendering of items aimed at children has led to campaigns such as Let Toys Be Toys<\/a> which promotes the simple idea of making all toys available to all children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ros Ball and James Miller documented the ways in which the world treated their son and daughter differently from their first days on Twitter<\/a> and in their book The Gender Agenda<\/a>, so struck were they about the cummulative power all these tiny messages had over their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n
\"8<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Supermarkets and clothing brands have been widely criticised<\/a> for producing sexist clothes saying things like boys have \u201cbig ideas\u201d and girls have \u201cbig smiles\u201d.  Even 8 year old<\/a> Daisy Edmonds can see this trend is ridiculous and diminishes her autonomy and her potential.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

The satirical \u201cMan Who Has It All<\/a>\u201d exposes how ridiculous gender stereotyping is by applying the messages usually targetted at women to men instead. Statements and assumptions we’re used to, and so blind to, are brought into stark clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n