I am writing this today after having just moved into London. Tomorrow I start my internship at Heathrow. By the time you read this, my views on London and where I am living will have probably changed, in fact my week will probably end up very different to how I imagined. But at this moment I am making use of some of the very lessons which my time at university taught me. And university and growing up has taught me a lot. My brother still reminds me of the time when I was 10 and too scared to go into the bakery to buy some bread, so my sister who was 8 at the time went instead. While buying bread from a bakery is no longer an issue for me, I’m not going to lie moving into London is going to be a learning curve. So I thought it is a good time to talk about moving on and some homesickness.
It was easy to find my own quiet space in Loughborough, it may be more difficult in London.
When people see me, they often won’t all see the same person. We have different sides to us. Our personality changes depending on our current circumstances. I will speak to my friends differently to how I speak to my family, and I will talk differently again to those I don’t know. And over time things change, I find it weird in my hometown walking past old friends who now will only smile to acknowledge me. The thing is we are not one thing, I often think of myself more likely a badly fitting jigsaw puzzle.
For me the closest I come to homesickness is not when the future scares me, challenges are fundamentally important; instead it is when I have an irrational fear of never seeing the past again.
I fear I will never be close to my friends, or I will never do something again. I fear all those memories will disappear and my legacy will fade. That is the feeling I got especially at the beginning of university, and how I feel today. And I know some people who at the beginning of university really struggle.
As I look at this photo of the media team from March 2016, it is fascinating knowing what people are now up to, some are still students others have begun their careers. Either way I will miss them.
But as I grow up I’ve learnt something, earlier I was explaining about different personalities and the idea of a jigsaw puzzle. That is how I cope with moving on and growing up. You don’t leave it all behind, in different moments you see different parts of your life.
I still meet up with my school friends, some I’ve known for 7 or 8 years, in fact very little changes when we come back and meet again. At times it may feel like university can be your whole life, and yes totally immerse yourself in it, but don’t feel you have nothing else.
At Christmas you will probably go home and see your family and your old childhood friends. They will probably see a slightly different version of you to your university friends. And sometimes that is nice, my ‘school’ friends had one set of nicknames for me, my ‘uni’ friends a totally different set.
So today as I unpack my stuff in my room in London, I tell myself I will still be able to go back to my old hometown and see my closest friends, I will pop back to Loughborough Students’ Union to say hello and I will be writing another blog for you next month. But in a few weeks’ time hopefully I will also have few more new pieces for the jigsaw puzzle with new friends and new challenges.
Over the summer I went back to Loughborough to help with the school games 2016.