{"id":504,"date":"2022-05-13T10:04:34","date_gmt":"2022-05-13T09:04:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.lboro.ac.uk\/wellbeing\/?p=504"},"modified":"2022-05-13T10:04:47","modified_gmt":"2022-05-13T09:04:47","slug":"how-to-be-alone-but-not-lonely","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.lboro.ac.uk\/wellbeing\/2022\/05\/13\/how-to-be-alone-but-not-lonely\/","title":{"rendered":"How to be alone, but not lonely"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Image courtesy of Getty Images<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Hi, my name is Megan. I graduated with a degree in International Business from Loughborough University in 2018 and subsequently founded Hashtag Me<\/a> (#Me). #Me aims to equip and empower students to better handle life\u2019s ups and downs and maximise their university experience. We offer a 12-week, student-led course connecting like-minded peers to help students become more self-aware and resilient as they share experiences, learn healthy coping strategies and overcome challenges together. Subomi, one of our Social media and Engagement Leads, and I thought what better time than Mental Health Awareness Week 2022 where the theme is \u2018loneliness\u2019 to talk about the negative presumptions around being alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choosing yourself<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often people can think there is something wrong if you\u2019re alone or choose to do something alone. And they subsequently come up with conclusions that the only probable reason is that you don\u2019t have friends, you\u2019re boring or a \u2018loner\u2019. But why does this have to be the case? Being and choosing to be alone should not be perceived as unappealing. Rather it should be about choosing yourself, over anything or anyone else. It\u2019s an opportunity to carve out space or time to\u00a0find peace and solitude\u00a0\u2014 to reflect, unwind, and maybe even to be creative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being alone versus being lonely<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our opinion, being alone isn\u2019t the same as being lonely. Being alone is a physical state where you are by yourself while being lonely is an emotional state of sadness attributed to not having a connection with yourself or others. So, what this means is that you can be alone but not lonely and that you can be lonely even when you\u2019re surrounded by people. They are not the same concepts; one is physical, and the other is emotional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to be alone<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before getting into the specifics of how to be alone, it’s crucial to note that being alone doesn’t have to imply loneliness. Yes, there can be instances where you\u2019re alone and feel lonely, but the two don’t always have to go together. So, how does one achieve being alone without feeling lonely?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Go on a solo date<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Although this may seem daunting, taking yourself on a date is a powerful and bold first step in learning how to be alone. Dates are strongly associated with two or more people, so this is your chance to challenge this assumption and practice independence and self-sufficiency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If dating yourself still sounds scary, then start small. Study alone at a coffee shop, then try grabbing brunch with your favourite book or whilst listening to a podcast. And before you know it, you might even fancy a solo date day out to an art exhibition or to the cinema! The options are endless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Start with what most appeals to you and seems doable, and once you become comfortable with that, we almost guarantee that being alone won\u2019t seem so daunting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Still not convinced? Remember that you\u2019ll be able to improve self-awareness and reconnect with yourself as you practise entertaining, nurturing, and dating yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n