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The Silver Lining to Loneliness

30 April 2021

3 mins

By Isioma Ogbechie

This is not sappy or melancholic; It’s both (kidding).

A world of loneliness is one where there are no strangers. It’s a familiar face to everyone; Sometimes it’s not entirely physical but an unshakeable feeling that- You. Just. Don’t. Click. with anyone around you. Sometimes its fleeting, and other times it spans months and even decades.

Is it me?

Loneliness transcends humans, age, race, context and, of course, lockdowns.


• Being the only one that thinks or looks like you at the top.

• Accepting a faith that beckons you to resist the world’s charm.

• Being introverted, inarticulate and frequently misunderstood.

• Also being closed-off and unfriendly… (Yeah, it’s you…)

Say what you will, but at least it doesn’t discriminate.

In recent times I have found myself questioning the purpose of loneliness and the possibility of it being a necessary evil or, perhaps, necessary good; Is there not some virtue to be had in this ‘unpleasant’ space, can it not foster an atmosphere where you are at one- and comfortable- with yourself, or even propel us to give or show the love we all, undoubtedly, need???

Does that mean that if given the choice between being lonely, or not, that loneliness would win by a landslide? I hope not, because that would be weird. The reality is that loneliness is uncomfortable and sometimes unavoidable (the option to choose isn’t always readily available) and, yet, for something as present and timeless as it is, I dare say it’s no match for love in all its forms.

Make of that what you will.

Loneliness and Change

Change disrupts our lives in many ways and, sometimes, the sequel is one with loneliness as the lead; Much like a BOGOF offer (with a lot of fine print lol!). While I recognise that many people don’t change (or want to), much change is inevitable, or thrust upon us (coughs in Covid), and the transition period can be less than ideal, leaving one longing for the familiarity and comfort of the past:

• As you deal with the passing of a most loved one.

• As the harsh reality of the empty-nest syndrome dawns on some parents.

• As you settle into a university thousands of miles from home, literally and metaphorically speaking.

• As you witness the fizzling out of old and new friendships.

• When everything seemed simpler; when you were simpler.

What I find is that the decision to welcome the process, one that certainly doesn’t come lightly, puts the loneliness we feel in perspective; It challenges us to Show and receive love while we can, Do those things we’ve always wanted to do (even if that means doing them alone, for a while), Reassess what true friendship means to us while we learn to be good friends to ourselves first.

So, now, we find comfort in The waiting – because there’s virtue in it: one as noble as Patience, yet incompatible with the world we live in today.

My closing remark is that, sometimes, you can’t embrace one without the other; Change can be lonely, but loneliness, and its variants, certainly changes you in many good ways (if you allow it).

Hi, I’m a final year International Business student. I’m the sum of three special people and one very special heavenly father- all of whom are family. Obsessed with Alaskan Malamutes, Tiny homes and Singing.

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