Publications Officer, Lynsey Heap shares her experience of working from home and being a parent during lockdown.

When schools and nurseries shut at the end of March, I’m sure many – like me – were left thinking ‘how am I going to do a full day’s work and look after my child at the same time?’.

Everyone’s experience of working from home with children will be different. Whether you’ve got one child or more; you’re home-schooling or entertaining; you’ve got support from others, or you’re on your own – as parents, we’re all facing different challenges.

Everyone will have good, positive days of dealing with the circumstances; and everyone will have days that feel not so successful. But ultimately, we’re just trying to do our best.

I’ve certainly experienced both. But as I’ve navigated my way through the last couple of months, I’ve discovered what works for us as a family; I’ve developed my own ways of managing the working week, and I’ve had realisations that I remind myself of when I’m having a bad day.

Cut yourself some slack – you’re doing three jobs at once

Early on in lockdown, after a week of feeling like everything was spiralling out of my control (I was struggling to complete things for work, felt bad for my little girl and the house was a complete tip) I saw a post on Facebook that I really needed to see:

Parents: What we are being asked to do is not humanly possible. There is a reason we are either a working parent, a stay-at-home parent or a part-time working parent.

Working, parenting and teaching are three different jobs that cannot be done at the same time.

It’s not hard because you are doing it wrong, it’s hard because it’s too much. Do the best you can.

Emily W King, PhD

If your experience is anything like mine, some days you’ll feel like an absolute super-parent and others like you’re failing on all accounts. I now remind myself of the above when I’m having a hard day and cut myself some slack on what I’m likely to achieve.

When I feel like my day isn’t going to plan, sometimes I find that taking an hour off to focus on one thing allows me to get back on track. Sometimes though I get to the end of the day and feel like I’ve achieved nowhere near as much as I would’ve liked, but reminding myself of the above allows me to accept it and start afresh the following day, often with positive results.

Remember that work and your child/children aren’t your only priorities  

Your child/children’s wellbeing is naturally your top priority but remember that yours is just as important too.

Prior to lockdown, on a week to week basis, I never made time for myself. If I managed to stay on top of everything at work and at home, then I saw that as a successful week. Lockdown has presented me with such an unusual situation though – I’m at home more so in some ways life feels like it has slowed down as we’re not rushing here and there, but my days are full and long, balancing looking after a two-year-old with trying to get work done. It’s shown me how important it is to make sure I am making some time for myself too.

My mental health has struggled at times in the last few months but taking some time for myself, even if it’s just 15 minutes reading, really lifts my mood and motivation.

Find a routine that works for you as a family

I’ve restructured my day to ensure that I can still spend quality time with my daughter and concentrate properly on work.  

I get up early and do a few hours in the morning – it means I can get some work done before she’s up and then carry on during the first part of the morning, when she’s having breakfast and happy to play by herself. I then take advantage of the fact that she still has an afternoon nap to do another couple of hours and I finish off the day in the evening once we’ve eaten.

This means that my working days are long, but it breaks everything down into manageable chunks, and means I can complete my working week and still enjoy my days off.

It’s all about finding a balance and routine that works for your own circumstances.

Do a little planning – for both your home life and work

For me personally, I find that planning helps with all aspects of my week.

My little girl is only two, so I’m not currently home-schooling as such, but I am having to find ways to entertain her daily. I’m not one for planning big activities in advance but just spending ten minutes each night thinking about what we might do, or whether we’ll go for a walk etc. I find really helps me to get on with the day and stay on track.

I also set myself daily goals for what I want to achieve at work and structure these around my day. As I’ll normally do a couple of hours work in the evening, I often find I’m flagging at that point, so I leave the easier stuff for this time of the day when not as much brainpower is required!

Another huge help for me is planning ahead for meals as it allows me to prep in advance where I can and saves me headspace from constantly thinking about what to feed everyone.

Think about where you’ll work best

I don’t have an office space at home, so when I’ve had to work from home in the past the kitchen table has been my usual spot. At the moment, though, my kitchen doesn’t get cleaned and tidied until the end of the day when both childcare and work are done. And prior to that post-day clean-up it often resembles a very disorganised arts and craft shop!

I can’t concentrate in chaos, so that means during the day my kitchen is off-limits when it comes to work. Early on in lockdown, I’d spend half an hour tidying up before I sat down to work, but this was not a productive use of my time as I found myself tidying up multiple times a day!

Instead, I work in different parts of the house throughout the day that allow me to stay productive. I’ll start my day in the kitchen before the chaos descends. During the afternoon I work upstairs on my bed. Now I know in terms of ‘working from home etiquette’ this is a big no-no, but for me, in the current circumstances, it works. By 1pm this room is one of the only rooms in the house that hasn’t been destroyed by toys and games, and it gets great light which instantly lifts my mood and offers me a calm environment to get straight into my work without any distractions (even if I do have to fight the temptation to climb into bed some days!).

Look after yourself

Not only is making time for yourself important but looking after yourself too. Sleep, diet, exercise – all these things contribute to how you feel. Looking after children and trying to work at the same time will be made all the more difficult when you’re not feeling at your best. I’ve had to be more mindful of making sure I’m going to bed at a sensible time. I’ve also found that planning and prepping my lunch and evening meal, as I mentioned before, has kept me eating properly and making time for exercise has kept me sane. This blog has covered some great subjects to support this so far, including top tips for getting better sleep and keeping your mind and body healthy.

The University has produced a guide for staff about working from home during lockdown, with advice and support on balancing work and caring responsibilities.