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The early months after welcoming a baby can be an emotional time and you may experience a wide range of feelings from joy and pride to sadness and frustration.

Many parents and carers find it hard to talk about difficult feelings after having a baby because they feel under pressure to be happy.

Remember that you’re not alone if you are feeling low. According to the NHS, more than 1 in 10 mothers experience post-natal depression. It can also affect fathers and partners.

Looking after yourself

Making sure you take time for yourself is important. Make use of your support network and spend some time doing activities that you find relaxing and enjoyable whether that’s popping out to meet a friend for coffee, reading a book or taking a short walk outdoors.

It’s also important to try and sleep whenever you can. When your baby is finally napping, catch up on some sleep or even simply rest your eyes.

Abbie Loney, Assistant Head of Future Students & Marketing Operations (Market Insight) at the University and Co-Chair of the Working Parents and Carers Network, shared her thoughts on becoming a new parent: “The new baby stage can be all-consuming, and it can be easy to lose yourself. For me, having my work has been crucial to having an identity outside of being a mum. Having something for yourself, be that through work, hobbies or other friendship groups is really important.”

Staying connected

Parenthood can feel isolating, especially in the early days. Reaching out to other parents, joining a support group, or simply texting a friend can make a big difference. Sharing the highs and lows with others helps normalise the experience and builds a sense of community.

Support groups at the University and in the local area include:

• Working Parents and Carers Staff Network – a supportive community for working parents and carers at the University.
• Family Help – a service at Leicestershire County Council which provides help when you are experiencing difficulties that can’t be supported by other services alone, such as schools or GPs.
• Home-Start – a local community network of trained volunteers and expert support to help families with young children through challenging times.

Abbie shared her experience with support groups: “A lot of people suggested I go to baby groups and meet other new mums as they can be brilliant support networks and social opportunities for you and your child. Lots of people I know had this experience. Perhaps I didn’t find my tribe at the ones I sampled but that didn’t really work for me.

“It’s only in more recent years that I feel able to say that aloud, I felt it was an expectation that all new mums should enjoy the baby groups so there must be something odd about me if I don’t. My advice would be to try things but if they don’t work for you, accept it and do things that you know make you feel good.”

Further help and support

If you are worried about the way you are feeling, please talk to your midwife, health visitor or doctor. They will point you in the right direction for all the support that you need, without judgment.

Abbie reflected: “So many people say ‘enjoy every moment… soak it up…. they grow up so quickly….’ and all of that is very true and good advice. On the flip side, it can make you feel like you are getting it wrong or that you’re not having the motherhood experience that others do when things are tough.

“The reality is that there will be moments, sometimes days, where you are not enjoying things, even though you love your children without question. As well as being joyful, parenting can be hard and it’s okay to feel that.”

You can find more advice and tips online for coping with emotional changes, stress and anxiety when caring for a baby:

• NHS: Start for Life
• NSPCC: Support for parents
• Dad Pad
• Mental health before, during and after pregnancy
• Looking after your mental health for dads and partners
• Information and support for parents affected by perinatal mental illness
• Mental health and pregnancy
• Services and support for parents

Keep an eye on our events page for upcoming wellbeing webinars. The next webinar on the topic of ‘Embracing Life as a New Parent’ will take place on 9 July 2025.